- 10/11/21
With more than half of Britons saying they don’t belong to any particular religion, the demand for non-religious funerals is now at an all-time high. These changes in beliefs are increasingly reflected in our attitudes towards funerals, and a lot of people are now moving away from the more traditional religious funerals altogether.
Almost 70% of us no longer mind if our funeral is held somewhere other than a place of worship, and there’s been a noticeable shift in our approach to sending off our deceased. 35 million of us say we want our funerals to be a time of celebration, not sadness.
If the deceased wasn’t particularly religious in life, it can feel disingenuous to honour them with words of praise and consecrations from a religious leader they’d never spoken to in life. However when funerals have been steeped in religious tradition for thousands of years, it’s hard to know where to start.
Here are a few things you should know about what happens at non-religious funerals and how to arrange one.
A non-religious funeral, also known as a secular or humanist funeral, is just what it sounds like – a funeral without any religious elements. Although non-religious funerals remove all the religious elements from a funeral, that doesn’t mean you need to forego all of its other traditions.
Your service leader, be that a family member or celebrant, will remove any mentions of sacred figures or belief systems from the service. There are multiple ways to hold a non-religious funeral; be that family-led, Humanist or with an independent celebrant, which we’ll go into more detail about below.
Non-religious funerals can be an appropriate choice for individuals who held little to no religious affiliation in their life. If you feel that including religious sentiment in a loved one’s funeral, or your own, would feel disingenuous, then a non-religious funeral might be the right choice.
Non-religious funerals are also a popular choice amongst those who had loved ones across multiple faiths and cultures. By excluding elements of religions that friends and family may not be part of, a non-religious funeral is a great way to bring people together from all walks of life to say their goodbyes.
Many religious ceremonies focus on the spiritual aspects of death and what they believe happens thereafter. If the deceased didn’t believe in any form of afterlife, a religious ceremony may feel appropriate.
Non-religious funerals are almost identical to what many of us would consider a ‘normal’ funeral. The only difference is that any references to religion or spirituality are removed from the order of service. In place of hymns and scripture readings, congregations typically sing the deceased’s favourite songs and enjoy literature or poetry readings.
By nature, non-religious funeral services are more flexible than religious funerals, in that they can be held at any venue that’s happy to host them, such as:
A non-religious funeral can be conducted by a variety of individuals or organisations who specialise in providing personalised and meaningful ceremonies without religious content.
Here are some options:
Ultimately, anyone who is respectful, empathetic, and capable of crafting a meaningful tribute to the deceased can conduct a non-religious funeral. The key is to ensure that the ceremony reflects the beliefs and values of the deceased, and provides comfort and closure to those who are grieving.
The attire choice can often be influenced by the wishes of the deceased. They might have requested attendees to wear vibrant colours or items that hold personal significance, such as their favourite flower.
While there are no rigid guidelines for attire at a non-religious funeral, it's advisable to dress with respect in mind, making darker colours a more suitable option unless the family has specified otherwise.
If there are no specific guidelines set by the family, or the deceased, here are some tips you might find helpful:
The goal is to dress in a manner that demonstrates respect for the deceased and their loved ones, while also allowing you to feel comfortable and confident as you pay your respects and offer support to those who are grieving.
When it comes to choosing a reading for a non-religious funeral service, you have an array of options available to you, such as eulogies, book passages or poems, which can sometimes make the choice even more difficult.
To give you an example of the kind of reading you could pick, here’s a J.R.R. Tolkien reading. You may recognise it, as it features in both The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, and is a popular option for non-religious funeral services for its inspiring and comforting sentiment:
“Roads go ever ever on, Over rock and under tree, By caves where never sun has shone, By streams that never find the sea; Over snow by winter sown, And through the merry flowers of June, Over grass and over stone, And under mountains in the moon.
"Roads go ever ever on Under cloud and under star, Yet feet that wandering have gone Turn at last to home afar. Eyes that fire and sword have seen And horror in the halls of stone Look at last on meadows green And trees and hills they long have known.
"Roads go ever on and on Out from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, Let others follow it who can! Let them a journey new begin, But I at last with weary feet Will turn towards the lighted inn, My evening-rest and sleep to meet.”
Non-religious funeral options provide families with flexible, personalised, and dignified, ways to honour the deceased, allowing families to create a meaningful farewell that reflects the unique life and legacy of their loved one.
Humanist funerals are conducted by trained professionals known as humanist celebrants. These ceremonies are centred around celebrating the life of the deceased without any religious content.
Humanist celebrants work closely with the family to craft a ceremony that reflects the beliefs, values, and personality of the deceased. They often include readings, music, and personal tributes that capture the essence of the person who has passed away.
Humanist funerals emphasise the importance of celebrating life, cherishing memories, and finding meaning in the connections we share with others.
Family-led funerals offer the opportunity for family members and close friends to take an active role in planning and conducting the funeral ceremony themselves.
This option allows for a deeply personal and intimate tribute to the deceased, with family members leading readings, sharing memories, and organising rituals that hold significance for their loved one.
Family-led funerals can be tailored to reflect the unique relationships and experiences shared with the deceased, creating a heartfelt and authentic farewell.
Direct cremation is a simple and cost-effective option that involves the cremation of the deceased without a traditional funeral service beforehand.
With direct cremation, the body is typically cremated shortly after death, and there is no viewing or visitation. This option appeals to those who prefer a more straightforward and minimalist approach to end-of-life arrangements.
Families may then choose to hold a separate memorial service or gathering at a later time to honour and remember their loved one in a way that aligns with their beliefs and preferences.
At Distinct Cremations, you have the opportunity to choose an unattended direct cremation, or an attended cremation with a service.
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Celebrate a life without the restrictions of a funeral
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Two simple service options for a family-led send off
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A respectful cremation funeral led by a celebrant
* Price advertised is for a 50 year old paying over a 10 year period. Total cost is £2,332.80 and includes administration fees. ** Price advertised is for a 50 year old paying over a 10 year period. Total cost is £3,027.60 and includes administration fees. *** Price advertised is for a 50 year old paying over a 10 year period. Total cost is £4,494.00 and includes administration fees.
For additional pricing information and a full list of our optional extras, please see our price list.
Non-religious funerals are just as easy to arrange as a traditional funeral and can be equally as heart-warming. The three easiest ways to arrange a non-religious funeral are:
If you’re engaging the services of a Funeral Provider, they’ll take care of all your arrangements. From suggesting funeral venues to arranging an appropriate celebrant. All you need to do is let them know your wishes and they’ll be able to talk you through your options.
Whether an independent celebrant or a Humanist representative, professional service leaders will have a wealth of experience in delivering non-religious celebrations. They’ll help to guide you on choosing songs and any readings you may want to include, careful to suggest options without a spiritual focus.
Family-led funerals are continually increasing in popularity. Rather than invite a person unknown to the deceased and family to lead the service, many families are making the decision to lead the funeral themselves. As those closest to the deceased, you can make the service extra personal, including as much or as little religion as you feel appropriate
If the deceased didn’t want any form of funeral, or if you feel like it’s not what they would have wanted, an unattended direct cremation may offer the solution. By arranging a simple direct cremation separate to a celebration of life party or remembrance service. There’s no service which means no tough decisions to make over what to include or not to include, just a simple dignified cremation at one of our state-of-the-art crematoria.
If you’re organising a funeral, and think that you’d like a non-religious send-off, make sure to let your family know your wishes, and arrangements can easily be made when the time comes.
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