Not knowing what to wear to a funeral can increase the anxiety about attending and add additional stress to an already emotional day.
Every funeral is different but knowing more about conventional attire at a burial or cremation service can help you feel more comfortable about your choice of outfit.
There are many different types of funerals from sombre burials to small family-led attended cremations which can influence the dress code. Traditionally, British funerals have formal attire and black clothing, with other dark, muted colours generally accepted. However, in recent years, colourful clothing has become more commonly worn to funerals.
Flexible dress codes can be more comfortable and better reflect the deceased but can also make deciding what to wear to a funeral more unclear. Find out some dos and don’ts of funeral clothing and where these funeral outfit traditions come from.
When choosing what to wear, try to respect any requests from the deceased or their loved ones like wearing a specific colour or item. They've asked because it's important to them.
You might be wearing the outfit for a while, especially if there is a wake or celebration of life event straight after the funeral service so dress comfortably. Consider footwear, especially at a woodland burial or other outdoor service where the ground could be uneven.
If there isn’t a dress code and you want to wear something untraditional, consider reaching out to other attendees for guidance. However, if this isn’t possible, the safest option is to dress in formal, black and modest attire.
Women attending a funeral may like to consider these options:
Men will usually wear the following at funerals:
Graveside ceremonies may be cold so it's okay to wear smart dark-coloured coats, gloves and scarves.
Try to wear a collared coat in muted colours if you have one. A bright coat might draw people's attention at a sombre style of funeral. Casual hoodies or jackets may not be seen as formal enough.
Check the forecast and bring an umbrella if all or part of the service is outside.
In very hot weather, thin, flowing fabrics and a short-sleeved shirt or dress may be the best way to stay comfortable.
If you are wearing a suit, you may also wish to remove the jacket. You can follow the lead of other people at the funeral if you're not sure whether it's acceptable to do so.
Old buildings like churches may still be cold in summer so take this into account with layers if this is where the funeral is taking place.
Instead of black clothes reflecting sadness, some people choose to have a colourful celebration of life instead.
A celebratory funeral often includes bright colours, upbeat music, funny stories about the deceased’s life and a celebrant leading the service in a personal and positive tone.
This style of memorial service can help mourners honour the personality of the deceased.
In the past year, online searches for ‘colourful funeral’ increased by 25% and searches for ‘celebration of life funeral’ grew by 18%, suggesting this funeral style continues to grow in popularity.
At the funeral of Dame Vivienne Westwood, several attendees honoured the British fashion designer’s famous punk aesthetic with bright colours and patterns. However, several other people opted to continue the tradition of wearing black.
Some people also chose colours other than black because they are the most traditional or appropriate in certain cultures.
Although some people feel strongly about funeral attire, the most important thing is that you've taken the time to come and pay your respects. If you don't feel you've got anything smart enough to wear, just be as well-groomed and respectful as you can. Saying goodbye, supporting loved ones and taking that time for remembrance is far more important than what you're wearing.
If you're conscious about causing offence, diverting attention from the ceremony to yourself, or simply being uncomfortable throughout the day, here are some potential clothing pitfalls to avoid.
Clothes that draw the spotlight
In early 2023, a Reddit user asked for advice on UK funeral etiquette and what to wear. One commentator, who works as an undertaker, advised not to be the person ‘who thinks it’s some kind of fashion parade’ and to instead ‘dress neatly and conservatively’.
Revealing clothing
Last year, the business owner of clothing store EdgyLittlePieces, received online criticism for suggesting a ‘disrespectful’ funeral outfit option — branding a black mini dress with extreme cut-out features as ‘perfect for a funeral fit’.
Sports clothing
When talking to the Huffington Post, Elaine Swann, founder of the Swann School of Protocol, said athletic wear was at the top of the list of what not to wear to funerals.
Bright colour unless requested
In 2018, Sky News presenter Colin Brazier politely asked attendees to wear black instead of bright colours to his wife’s funeral, stating it was “unfair on children to insist that a funeral should mean rejoicing in a life now passed”. He added that wearing black gave people a licence to get upset while wearing colour can “inhibit the necessary catharsis of the grieving process”.
Other items which wouldn't normally be worn at a funeral include
Black clothing has long been associated with funerals in the Western world. This tradition is often first connected to the Roman Empire, as it’s believed they wore dark-coloured togas when mourning.
During the Victorian period, mourners wore black clothing for the funeral and close relatives continued to for one full year after the date of death. To signify a ‘half-mourning period’, people would introduce other dark colours, such as dark green.
In 1861, Queen Victoria took this further and wore dark, sombre colours to show respect for her late husband, Prince Albert, until the day of her death 40 years later. It’s still customary for members of the royal family to wear black for the mourning period. For the funerals, working royals must wear military uniforms while attendees wear black, with royal women often wearing black veils.
We surveyed 2,000 Brits about what to wear to a funeral and what would make them the most comfortable.
Black remains the most popular choice, but coloured clothing is not that far behind.
Below are a few more resources that you may be interested in to help you choose how to celebrate your or a loved one's funeral.
Our simple and low cost funeral services offer a relaxed and fuss-free atmosphere for remembrance - ideal if a traditional funeral doesn't suit your loved one.
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Choosing funeral transportBelow are a selection of reviews from those who followed their instinct with Distinct and chose to buy a funeral with us.
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