Grief at Christmas

The festive season, often filled with joy and celebration, can be particularly overwhelming for those grieving the loss of a loved one. While this time of year brings warm traditions, family gatherings, and cherished memories, it can also heighten feelings of sadness and loneliness for those coping with grief at Christmas.

It’s important to acknowledge these emotions and find ways to navigate this difficult time with compassion for yourself and others. In this guide, we share practical tips on how to cope with grief at Christmas, and help you understand the common struggles that those experiencing grief at Christmas are maybe feeling.

Why Christmas can feel harder when you’re grieving

Christmas can be a poignant reminder of the loved ones who are no longer with us. The traditions we once shared, the joyful memories we created, and the societal pressure to join in the celebrations can make grief feel even more intense. Family gatherings, festive songs, and even the sight of holiday decorations may bring an overwhelming sense of loss, and it’s normal to feel out of sync with the surrounding cheer.

The festive season also comes with the expectation of happiness, which can feel impossible to meet when you're grieving. You may find it difficult to participate in celebrations, and the pressure to be “merry” can weigh heavily on your heart. Understanding that these feelings are valid is an important step in learning how to cope with grief at Christmas.

How to cope with grief at Christmas

At Distinct Cremations, we understand that grieving is not a linear process, and everyone experiences it slightly differently. We’ve put together some suggestions to help you, or someone close to you, cope with grief with Christmas.

Creating space for your emotions

It’s essential to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions arise. Whether it's sadness, loneliness, or even guilt for not feeling festive, allow yourself to experience them without judgement.

Don’t feel pressured to be the life of the party, or to simply put on a brave face, as suppressing emotions can make them harder to manage, both in the short and long term. Accepting that it’s okay to grieve, even during a season of celebration, can help you process your loss in a healthier way.

Adjusting traditions to remember your loved one

While Christmas traditions may feel painful without your loved one, you can find ways to honour their memory by adjusting these rituals slightly.

For example, you might light a candle in their memory, place a special ornament on the tree, or set aside time to reflect on the moments you shared. These small acts can bring comfort, allowing you to celebrate Christmas in a way that acknowledges your grief and keeps your loved one’s memory alive.

Understand that others might grieve differently

Grief is deeply personal, and no two people experience it in the same way. Even within the same family or friend group, each person may cope with loss differently.

Some may find comfort in maintaining traditions, while others may prefer to create new ones. Open communication can help you respect each other’s grieving processes and to find a balance that works for all parties. Let your loved ones know how you're feeling and encourage them to share their emotions as well.

Talk about your loved one

Sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is to speak openly about the person who has passed, even if the very thought of doing so is painful. Sharing stories, memories, and even the emotions you’re experiencing can help keep their memory alive. You might find comfort in reminiscing with friends and family, allowing you to feel connected to both your loved one and those around you.

Practise self-care

Self-care is crucial during the emotional strain of the festive period. Grief can be exhausting, and taking care of your physical and mental health can help you navigate it.

Simple acts such as getting enough sleep, eating well, and taking time for yourself—whether through a walk in nature, a relaxing bath, or even reading a book—can make a significant difference in how you cope with grief at Christmas.

Maintain a routine

When everything around you feels chaotic, maintaining a routine can offer a sense of stability and comfort. Sticking to familiar patterns, such as meal times, bedtimes, or daily activities, can provide a grounding sense of normalcy, helping to keep you steady when emotions run high.

Supporting a loved one who is grieving at Christmas

If someone close to you is grieving during Christmas, here are a few ways to offer your support:

  • Listen: Sometimes, the best support is simply being there to listen.
  • Acknowledge their grief: Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, even during the holidays.
  • Offer practical help: Help with holiday tasks like shopping or decorating, if they find it overwhelming.
  • Invite them to share memories: Encourage them to talk about their loved one, if they feel comfortable doing so.
  • Respect their needs: Understand if they need space or prefer not to participate in holiday celebrations.

Family

How planning ahead can help you cope with grief

Family

For some, Christmas may bring anticipatory grief, especially if a loved one is terminally ill, or if the holiday season reminds them of their own mortality.

Planning ahead can bring a sense of peace and reassurance. Whether it's preparing for a future funeral or making funeral arrangements for your loved one, having these plans in place can ease some of the emotional burden, allowing you to focus on cherishing the moments you have.

If you're thinking about planning ahead, our friendly team here at Distinct Cremations are available to talk through your options, provide information and support, and help you choose a funeral plan.

Where to find support

Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. There are many mental health and bereavement services available to help you cope with your loss, especially during the Christmas period.

Here are some bereavement services and counselling options available across the UK:

  • At a loss: Find various support services and counselling resources across the UK.
  • Child Bereavement UK: Offers support to families grieving the loss of a child, as well as to children and young people coping with the loss of a loved one.
  • Child Death Helpline: Provides a helpline for anyone affected by the death of a child.
  • The Compassionate Friends: Support network for bereaved parents and their families, including a helpline.
  • Cruse Bereavement Support: Provides face-to-face, telephone, email, and online support for anyone who has experienced a loss.
  • Dying Matters: Offers resources to help individuals talk more openly about death, dying, and bereavement, and assists with planning for the end of life.
  • The Good Grief Trust: A charity run by people who have experienced bereavement, offering information, personal stories, and a map of UK bereavement services.
  • Hub of Hope: A comprehensive database of mental health services across the UK, including support from charities, the NHS, and private providers.
  • The Loss Foundation: Provides support for those grieving the loss of someone to cancer, including free support groups, workshops, walking events, and peer connections.
  • Samaritans: Available 24/7 for anyone struggling with grief or other challenges. Call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org. Welsh Language Line: 0808 164 0123 (7pm–11pm daily).
  • Sands: Support for those affected by the death of a baby, with a helpline and live chat available.
  • Sue Ryder: Offers bereavement support services, including online counselling.
  • WAY (Widowed and Young): Provides advice and support for those who have lost a partner before the age of 51.

And remember to always reach out to friends, family, or professionals for support when you need it.

Other helpful resources

For more guidance on navigating grief, take a look at some of these helpful articles:

How to manage grief before death

Funeral Celebrant With Clasped Hands

Knowing a loved one is close to the end can be the most devastatingly disorientating time of our lives. In this guide, we'll look at managing anticipatory grief, how thinking about funeral plans can help, and much more about how to manage grief.

How to manage anticipatory grief

Understanding the 5 stages of grief

Man comforting woman with hand on shoulder during funeral

Grief is a very personal thing – perhaps one of the most personal things we’ll experience. When you, or someone you know, lose a loved one, you grieve in your own way. What’s important to remember is that there’s no right or wrong way to grieve.

The five stages of grief

Preparing for the death of a loved one

Wooden heart ornament left resting against a tree in remembrance of a loved one buried nearby

There is no experience like preparing for the death of a loved one, but it's an experience most of us will go through in our lives. Though it's a time of sorrow and sadness, there are things you can do to make things that little more comfortable.

Preparing for the death of a loved one

What our customers say about us

We offer the highest level of support, but don't just take our word for it. Below are recent reviews from customers who bought a funeral with us.

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Lisa Matthews, on Feefo 22 Mar 2025
Very helpful with difficult decisions. No pressure sales as with other funeral services I approached. Also very good price in comparison with others.
Anonymous, on Feefo 19 Mar 2025
From my first interaction requesting a guide to my conversation with Sophie, I cannot fault the service I've received. All my questions have been answered in a way that I can understand what I am being offered and what I have asked for. All processes and procedures have been explained and I have been given ample time to research other possible companies and I haven't felt pressurised or been given the 'hard sale'. On the service i have received so far I would highly recommend them to family and friends
Anonymous, on Feefo 10 Mar 2025
Bought a policy online which was quick and simple to do and then received a courtesy call from Distinct Cremations to make sure that I was happy with my purchase. Very professional.
Debbie Burchell, on Feefo 8 Mar 2025
I had no idea where to go when my mum passed away. We had discussed that she wanted to be cremated, but that was it. My partner saw Distinct Cremations on our local Crematorium website, as they work with them. I didn't want loads of fuss, or to go into an office. Just a lovely personal service. Distinct Cremations went above and beyond in every area. I picked my options on the website, nice and simple, to get an idea of my quote. Then had a lovely discussion on the phone with Dan. We talked about all the options I wanted and he was so thougthful, sincere and genuinely supportive, I was really nicely surprised. It was really simple to put the order through and to pay for. Since then I have had a singluar, regular contact called Grace who looked after me every step of the way. The professionalism and compassion of the staff at Distinct Cremations is second to none. I was informed at every step with what was going to happen. They regularly checked in with me, to make sure I was doing ok. The service and celebrant Carol Porter was incredible. Everything happened exactly as planned. I couldn't have wanted anything better. The ashes were delivered to me at home, I had the standard box for them to be delivered in. The gentleman who delivered them was really kind and compassionate also. They came in a really nice blue box. Thank you for making one of the worst times of my life as easy as it could have been. I would highly recommend Distinct Cremations to everyone. I would definitely use them again myself.
Anonymous, on Feefo 7 Mar 2025
I purchased a cremation plan for my wife and myself. It was very easy to do and so far everything is fine. Just hope I don"t need to use it for a while. Bob
Yvette Glover, on Feefo 7 Mar 2025
I am so grateful to the two people who looked after me during the process of organising the cremation. They were really caring and nothing seemed too much trouble. A huge thank you to Daniel and especially Maxine.
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Excellent company and great customer service and follow up.
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