Funeral wishes

Discussing death and your funeral arrangements with loved ones is never easy, but it's one of the most important conversations you can have. In fact, planning ahead for your funeral is one of the smartest things you can do.

Not only does it save your loved ones the stress of having to make complex decisions and arrangements when they should be mourning, it also helps to put your mind at rest, knowing that everything is already sorted well in advance.

The most essential part of making plans for your funeral, however, is to let someone know them. To help you navigate these sensitive discussions, we’ve compiled some practical tips and compassionate advice on how to express your funeral wishes to your loved ones. This guide will cover why these conversations matter so much, offer tips on how to approach them, and explain how to document your wishes clearly.

Why talking about your funeral arrangements matters

One of the most important reasons to talk about your funeral arrangements is that your loved ones can't know your wishes unless you share them. Surprisingly, only 1% of people know all their loved one's funeral wishes, according to the SunLife Cost of Dying Report 2025, sunlife.co.uk/funeral-costs{.link-primary}.

This statistic highlights how important it is to have these conversations before it's too late. By discussing your preferences, you alleviate the burden on your family, ensuring that they can carry out your wishes without uncertainty or stress.

Funeral flowers

Tips for talking about death with loved ones

Talking about death can be very emotionally challenging, but it’s an essential part of ensuring your wishes are respected. Here are 4 simple tips to help you approach this delicate topic:

  1. Choose the right time and place: Find a quiet, private setting where everyone feels comfortable. Timing is also crucial—consider bringing up the subject during a calm, reflective moment rather than a time of stress or conflict.
  2. Be honest and gentle: Approach the conversation with honesty, but also with compassion. Acknowledge that it's a difficult topic for your loved ones to think about, let alone discuss, but express why it’s important to you.
  3. Listen to their feelings: Remember, this conversation affects your loved ones too. Give them space to express their thoughts and feelings, and be ready to offer reassurance.
  4. Provide reassurance: Let your loved ones know that talking about death doesn’t mean you expect it to happen soon. Reassure them that you’re simply taking steps to ease their burden in the future.

Tips for talking about your funeral wishes

Once you’ve opened the conversation about death, the next essential step is to move on to discussing your specific funeral wishes. When discussing your funeral preferences, it’s helpful to cover a few key topics, which might include:

Burial vs. cremation

Cremations and burials each carry their own unique significance, symbolising the diverse beliefs and preferences of individuals and communities. Cremation can offer greater flexibility and environmental advantages, whereas traditional burial often provides a tangible link to ancestral roots and cultural heritage.

Decide/discuss whether you prefer to be buried or cremated, and share your choice with your loved ones.

Funeral flowers



Simple vs. elaborate

Everyone’s different. Some prefer a small funeral, attended only by close family. Others find comfort in the idea of a large celebration with as many family members and friends as possible. They might envision bright clothes and singing. Some would rather have no funeral at all. It’s not a one-size-fits-all. How you wish to leave this world should be entirely in your hands.

However, keep in mind that it’s your loved ones who will live on to grieve and carry you in their memory beyond your years. What we mean by this is, if you would prefer a funeral with a small number of attendees, or no attendees at all, be prepared for a potential debate on the topic, as your loved ones might want or need the opportunity for more support and closure when the time comes to say their final goodbyes. It’s important that the opinions of those who matter most are heard, and taken into consideration.

Funeral service details

Consider any specific elements you want included in your service, such as readings, music, or who you’d like to lead the ceremony.

When it comes to the matter of who leads the ceremony, the traditional role of a funeral celebrant is to guide the funeral service. This may include delivering the eulogy, overseeing the order of service, inviting friends and family to share readings, and leading the attendees in a moment of quiet reflection.

Some funeral providers, like Distinct Cremations, offer the opportunity for services to be entirely family-led, providing loved ones with the privacy to share cherished memories, view the coffin at the crematorium, and have an opportunity to say their goodbyes.

Think about how you want to be remembered, whether through a traditional service, a celebration of life, or something unique that reflects your personality. If you’re not sure, your loved ones will be in an ideal position to provide insight on this topic, so it might be helpful to have an open discussion.

Understanding the differences between a wake, a funeral service, and a viewing can provide clarity, and help you make informed decisions.

  • Wakes provide a more informal, extended time for sharing memories and offering mutual support.
  • Funeral services offer a formal, structured setting to honour the deceased through eulogies, music, and rituals.
  • Viewings allow for a quieter, more personal moment to see the deceased and pay respects.

Each of these ceremonies plays a crucial role in the grieving process, offering distinct ways to remember and celebrate your life. By selecting the combination of ceremonies that best aligns with your values and traditions, you can create a meaningful and comforting farewell.

Documenting your funeral wishes

After discussing your funeral wishes with loved ones, it’s crucial to document them so that your preferences are clear and legally recognised. Here are some ways to ensure your wishes are followed:

Funeral plan

A funeral plan allows you to set out your wishes in detail and pre-pay for funeral services. This not only ensures your preferences are respected but also alleviates the financial burden on your loved ones.

You can work with a funeral provider, like Distinct Cremations, to create a plan that reflects your desires. Our low cost funeral plans let you arrange and pay for a simple and affordable funeral for yourself or a loved one ahead of time.

Funeral flowers



Will

Including your funeral wishes in your Will is another way to document your preferences. However, it’s important to know that in the UK, funeral wishes outlined in a Will are not legally binding. While your executor will have ownership of the body, and is encouraged to follow your wishes, they are not obligated to do so, as they are technically considered the decision-makers with regard to funeral arrangements. For this reason, it’s wise to both document your wishes and discuss them directly with your loved ones.

Letter of wishes

A Letter of Wishes is a less formal document that can accompany your Will or be kept separately. It allows you to express your funeral preferences in a clear, written format. While it’s not legally binding, it provides guidance to your loved ones during a challenging time.

Informal documentation

For those who prefer a simpler approach, you can also document your funeral wishes in a letter, a conversation recorded with permission, or even in a dedicated journal. The key is to ensure your loved ones know where to find this information when the time comes.

By taking the time to discuss and document your funeral wishes, you give your loved ones a clear path to follow, easing their emotional burden during a time of grief. Remember, these conversations may be difficult, but they are a true gift of love and consideration for those who matter most to you.

Setting up a funeral plan

Taking control of your farewell plans in advance will allow your family and friends to focus on grieving and finding solace when the time comes.

A funeral plan offers a simple, affordable way to pay for a funeral ahead of time, in one lump-sum, or balanced monthly instalments. At Distinct Cremations, our low-cost funeral plans put the focus on you and your loved ones’ needs, rather than the frills and costly extras associated with traditional funerals.

This simplicity not only provides peace and comfort to the person making the arrangements, but also serves as a compassionate gift to those left behind.

All of our direct cremation funeral plans include:

  • Essential funeral director services, including help with all legal and cremation paperwork
  • Collection by private ambulance and preparation for cremation at our state-of-the-art mortuary facilities
  • A coffin and respectful cremation at one of our own crematoriums
  • Ashes personally delivered back to the family within 14 days or respectfully scattered at the crematorium.

Direct Cremation Plan

From £1,799 or £19.79* per month

Celebrate a life without the restrictions of a funeral

Simple, dignified and our cheapest funeral plan
No formal service or attendees present

Funeral Service Plan

From £2,299 or £27.51** per month

For friends and family to pay respects

A choice between a 30 or a 60 minute service
A choice between a family led or celebrant led service

Other helpful resources

Whatever stage of the journey you’re in, you’ll find more helpful guides to support you through challenging times here at Distinct Cremations.

Preparing for your own death

Papers On Dining Table

It's never nice thinking about your own death, and many of us understandably prefer not to. It’s comforting to realise that you have the autonomy to navigate your own passing, and the best thing you can give yourself is the peace of mind that your end of life plans are in place.

Preparing for your own death

Paying for your own funeral

Cremation costs

There are a number of ways to prepay for a funeral, however unfortunately not all of them are within everyone’s financial capability. This is why monthly funeral payment plans, spread over a number of years, are one of the best ways to pay for a funeral ahead of time.

Paying for your own funeral

What happens at a cremation service?

Cremation without service

Many of us are familiar with the idea of cremation, but for those who’ve never attended a service, the question of what happens at a cremation still remains. While each funeral is unique to the deceased and their families, all cremations will have some similarities.

What happens at a cremation service

What our customers say about us

We offer the highest level of support, but don't just take our word for it. Below are recent reviews from customers who bought a funeral with us.

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Lorraine , on Feefo 11 Feb 2025
Very easy to navigate the choices of Cremation plans and prices online. I spoke to a member of staff who was extremely helpful and reassuring. I choose a plan for ease and peace of mind for me and my family. I would definitely recommend Distinct Cremations.
Anonymous, on Feefo 6 Feb 2025
Pearl Susan Clements, on Feefo 5 Feb 2025
So simple, so quick, no fuss, and the follow up is with a person who cares. Exactly what I wanted, no financial worries for my family. Perfect! Thank you.
Anonymous, on Feefo 4 Feb 2025
After losing 2 of my sisters recently it made me think about my own future and sorting out my funeral for when the time comes, as I did not want my children to have to arrange things in an already stressful time for them. I already knew that I wanted to have a cremation but I didn’t want the fuss, I was debating just having a a cremation with no mourners but after discussion with my children they would prefer if they could have a simple style funeral. I looked around and other company’s were offering pure cremations or full service. This is not what I wanted. Then I found Distinct Cremation who would do a cremation but with small number of mourners and no church service. Exactly what i was looking for. I emailed and asked all the questions that I needed and Nathan replied quickly putting my mind at rest. I then contacted him a couple of days later going over a few more details that I needed answering. Nathan’s professionalism was fantastic. Going through everything with me was so reassuring. I decided to take out two plans one for myself and another for my husband. As discussed we received a follow up courtesy call to confirm we has received the package and all was ok. I’m happy with my purchases and hopefully will take away the additional stress of arranging a funeral when the time comes. Thank you Distinct Cremation for making the whole process simple and easy to understand.
Lisa Russell, on Google 4 Feb 2025
Delicately handled my husband cremation with care and thoughtfulness. Very informative through the whole process which can be a difficult and confusing time. The staff are very kind and considerate and helped me through the process Would definitely recommend
Anonymous, on Feefo 4 Feb 2025
The price was very attractive and the booking process very easy
Kenneth John Brown, on Feefo 4 Feb 2025
Sylvie Gomez, on Google 4 Feb 2025
Very good service quickly delivered at a competitive price.
4.9/5
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4.9/5
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4.8/5
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